I have a blog post from the old days of blogging – yes, 2004-2005 are the ‘old’ days now – that talks about how to fail, without really trying. It’s focused on the ways we sabotage ourselves to fail. Yes, it happens all the time.
Often, the expectations of success are so big, so mysterious, so frightening, we prefer failure. It’s not conscious. We don’t get up one morning and say, “I think I’ll fail at everything I do today.” Rather, we allow life to either wear us down or steer us in the wrong direction, and only after the resultant failure happens, do we realize, “I should have pinged when I ponged!”
To help you on your quest to avoid failure in becoming a published author , here are 13 Surefire Paths to Failure or How Not To Write a Book. Enjoy!
- Don’t set time aside each day to write. You can write willy nilly as the mood strikes. It’s far easier to compose when you’re in the mood. Trying to write for an hour a day, at a scheduled time just crushes your creativity!
- Set aside time to write, and spend it on Facebook. After all, you learn a lot on Facebook and aren’t those cat videos so cute!
- Decide at the onset of your book project that the writing just needs to flow. It needs to flow without regard to punctuation or grammar or spelling. Your editor will fix all that.
- What editor? Who needs an editor? When the manuscript is done, you’ll have your Mom or your sister or your best friend, who took a class in creative writing once, look it over.
- Keep the title/topic/purpose of the book a BIG secret! Gosh, if you share it, even with your BFF, word could get out and someone will STEAL your ideas! It happens all the time! Keep all of that to yourself, for as long as it takes to write the book. It’s your baby. Don’t show it off till it’s ready!
- Save time at the end, when ‘baby’ is all pretty and full of smiles, to do your marketing.
- Wait until you’re almost done before deciding on a publishing platform. That will only take a few minutes and then you can upload the document in whatever format they want – and your book will be ready.
- Have your friend who does print graphics design your cover. I mean, a cover is a print document, sort of. Any graphic designer can do a book cover. Right?
- Write your back cover content yourself. You don’t need testimonials! You’ll get those after the book comes out and then add them to your blog.
- Oh yeah, the blog. Make sure the blog sits patiently for your book to actually be published. Don’t even hint that there’s a book coming!
- Don’t worry about font, or image placement, or justified edges. Any font is okay. You can plop an image in anywhere, even on the third page following the quote it refers to – people will go back and reread that paragraph. And everyone justifies the right side of book content. Everyone. Right?
- Don’t bother asking permission to use quotes or content from the web. Everything on the web is free, isn’t it?
- And for heaven’s sake, don’t research your topic to find out what others have written or are writing about it. Your idea is unique. No one else is approaching it the way you are. It’s the first new idea in the history of publishing. It’s going to make you rich and famous.
- BONUS! Bask in the realization that once your book is out you will be rich and famous! Yes, you will! Just like… whomever. Rich and famous authors abound out there and you’re going to be one. You can just feel it! Right?
Some of these points may seem silly to you. You may have read them and thought, “Who does that?” But I assure you, many people do all of these things or a great many of them. #14 is key. If you expect to be rich and famous, well, good for you. I hope you achieve that lofty goal. It doesn’t come easy and the responsibilities that accompany it are great, so be aware of that.
Writing a book is such a big project, it’s not shameful to ask for help. In this, the Year of the Phenomenal Woman at The Lipsticking Society, I want to be the professional book coach and publishing adviser you are looking for – that person who brings both experience in the industry and understanding of the process.
Contact me for a free half-hour consultation to discuss the what of your book project; the how of your book project; and the why. yvonne(at) yvonnedivita (dot) com. I’d love to hear from you.